RE: VISIONS OF THE GODHEAD

On Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 9:09 AM, XXXXX <XXXXX@yahoo.com> wrote:
> In my vision He appeared to me on a radiant throne borne by
> enormous wheels of eyes and pulled by a team of Cherubim, and I
> said to myself, I guess this is the LORD. But something was odd.
> I realized here was God the Almighty, the Creator, Whose will
> alone directs every large and small thing in the Universe. He
> wasn't being carried by the wheels, is my point, and He wasn't
> being pulled by the Cherubim, right? And I saw this magnificent,
> glorious God with a throne that was actually hanging from Him
> and not supporting Him, and these insane wheels also dangling
> there from the Allfather, and He was pushing along all these
> several Cherubim, and for whose benefit, I wondered.
>
> And before the thought could be spoke outloud, the scenery
> changed and we were in Paradise. Of course, God was the only one
> sitting down, and it was just this impossibly vast, shadowless
> brightness. And all kinds of musical instruments are being
> played by all kinds of weird and mellow saints in a complicated
> but perfect harmony, and just around the Godhead were these
> androgynous sweet young things fanning these palm leaves at the
> Infinite Lord, and it was really BEYOND, but again I started
> thinking of the vastness and how it stretched on forever and you
> could be in Heaven, you know, and still be infinitely far away
> from God, and that just seemed wrong, and then the whole omni-,
> omni-, omni- thing came on again and you realize that He's
> fanning HIMSELF with these monstrous, bald angels, and He's
> playing all that music for Himself, and why show it to me? And
> why is He sitting down, to relax? And it was also totally
> distasteful in this unwitting-vouyerism kind of way, in that as
> I looked out on the assembled thousands, I could see plainly
> what God was into, you know? I saw God's type. (It's like I had
> a friend who was dating a girl who was remarkably skinny and
> that's fine, but then they broke up and he started dating this
> new girl who was also like amazingly skinny, like it looked like
> a health problem, and I realized that's just what this guy is
> into, pretty skeleton girls, and it seemed psychologically and
> sort of politically screwed and I couldn't be friends with the
> guy anymore.) But anyway I realized this whole sublime vista was
> some fragment of the totality because God's will, at least,
> extended beyond God's body--He was supposed to be everywhere,
> and so who was this guy sitting down? And besides I could never
> hope to look upon the Pleroma and really see it because I can
> only see 180° of the circle at any given time, and I was just
> like totally freaked out about everything that might be going on
> behind me at that moment.
>
> And so I think all of these thoughts in like an instant and the
> vision vanishes, POOF, and I'm just in my kitchen waiting for
> the oven to preheat, and I kind of feel bad for the thoughts I
> had that I think soured God on really speaking to me, but it's
> complicated because I am just an instrument of the Infinite Lord
> and so it must be the way it's supposed to be, but now I'm
> constantly getting jittery and looking behind me, freaking
> myself out. I kind of wish I never saw anything.
>
> Yours,
>
> XXXXX